Vanier on Sabbath

“I often hear talk of people committed to social action or in communities who are ‘burned out.’ These people have been too generous; they have thrown themselves into activity which has finally destroyed them emotionally. They have not known how to relax and to be refreshed. Those in responsibility must teach such people the discipline of physical rest and relaxation, and the need for spiritual nourishment, and for fixing clear priorities. They must also set an example.” (Community and Growth, p.177)

Tracy said something the other day that just nailed me. At first i took offense to it then I realized it fell into the category of a friendly-wound like where Proverbs says “The wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of an enemy.” We have given up TV. I tried to go cold turkey and told her that was the only way it was going to happen for me. I’m addicted…. and embarrassed by all this for the record. Anyway, i needed the visual equivalent of Methadone to help me to kick so i bought a few episodes of LOST from iTunes and watched them before bed the other night. Now Tracy knows that i rarely watch something straight through. I usually fall asleep part way and she turns off the drug of choice and goes to bed ahead of me. In the mean time, (and there’s a reason its called ‘mean’ time) I usually half wake up as she is cleaning up and prepping for bed and stumble into the sack to claim more than my share of the covers. This last time i woke up we talked briefly about my addiction. “What time is it? Did i fall asleep?” (Duh!) “Yeah… you fell asleep again with your “pasey”? “What’s a pasey?” “It’s short for pacifier.. TV is your pacifier..” And there it was… She didn’t mean anything mean. She never does. But it hurt my feelings…it wounded me… precisely because it was the truth.

I need to relearn how to rest minus the pacifier.
+++ Lord, have mercy. +++