When I think “business” I don’t typically think “Wendell Berry.” But wisdom is wisdom and this opening poem from his latest collection inspires me to work well and wisely. (Thanks Dan… I think all the poetry you send me might finally be rubbing off)

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From Leavings:

Like Snow

Suppose we did our work
like the snow, quietly, quietly,
leaving nothing out.

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+++   In quietness and rest is your strength says the Lord God via the prophet Isaiah. Help me Lord work quietly and thoroughly in the absolute confidence that it is You guiding and leading and growing and giving all the increase. As we plant and nurture I know it is only you that can make things grow. So today I will work quietly, thoroughly and confidently.  +++

That little phrase, “processing your heart in the presence of God” has stuck with me and folowed me around for the past several weeks. It has become an essential part of my recent fascination and understanding of an interactive life with God; what an honest to goodness life of prayer is meant to be.  My mentor/friend Dave Dupee said it almost in passing, between sips of coffee,  and likely had no idea how lodged that little bullet was going to become. It was charged with meaning for me from the first time I heard it. In short, it is the best definition of exactly what prayer is I have ever heard.

There are three elements to that phrase that deserve a closer look and these three can be like rungs of a laddar that can lead us to actually pray if we give ourselves over to them:

1. Processing

Processing is not passive. It implies we take an active role in trying to understand what we are feeling, thinking, and desiring. And we do that with a little tool called honesty. What are the patterns of our thinking? When our mind wanders where does it wander to? What kinds of things does our mind settle on? What feelings are currently taking up real estate in our heart? What desires do we have? Longings? Hopes? if we can first get real honest about those things we’ll be engaging in the “processing” that is a way into prayer. For me this happens best under certain conditions: being alone for a an extended period (whether that’s an hour, a day or a weekend), writing, and walking. For some reason those things just naturally get me processing in this way. Some things that kill it or inhibit it: passively surfing the web, over-consumption of media, entertainment, food, alcohol… anything that dulls the senses or numbs the brain.

2. Your heart

So we’re processing but what is the locus of that: simply, our hearts. Whatever is in us. The good and the bad. And this is often where it breaks down for me. I want to process the good stuff and try to hide the bad stuff or change it before coming into God’s presence. But that is all wrong and its a lie that will lead – has led! – to much prayerless in my life. Processing our heart means just getting it out and then sorting it out. Our lusts, our greed, our fears, our worries, our joys, our excitement, our whatever-is-in-there… God won’t be surprised (hint: He already knows!) but we often will be. God often reacts differently than I could ever have imagined. For instance I’ve learned that lust is often just a symptom of a desire for intimacy or excitement (often not even necessarily sexual) that can get fed in a wrong way or a good way. When we start to see and treat our wrongful desires as symptoms (and for many of us, simply stop beating ourselves up for them) then we can get to the root of why that sin/challenge exists at all.

3. In the presence of God

So we process “alone” but we’re really not. We are in God’s presence. That is a fact and not something we have to do, force or conjure up. The best we can do is recognize it and accept it. He is the active seeker in our lives. We are responders and receivers. Now we can act like we’re not in his presence, we can avoid, deny, resist the implications of that or we can simply yield to it and do our part to foster the relationship. So there are things we can do and become that foster a greater sense of cooperation and interaction with him but mostly this is a passive realization that whatever we do and wherever we go we are already fully immersed in God’s presence. But like any relationship a deeper sense of friendship, of comraderie can grow through regular contact and intentional interactions as outlined here.

How do you process your heart in God’s presence? What are some of the means you have used to deepen (or avoid) a friendship with him?

“Our natural desire to pray come from creation. We are made in the image of God. Our inability to pray comes from the Fall.” (The Praying Life by Paul E. Miller p.15)

Genesis 3.8-10 “When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God. God called to the Man: ‘Where are you?’ He said, ‘I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.’” (The Message)

Since you are created in the image of God you have the natural ability and desire to communicate with God living an interactive life with the One who’s image you bear. Communicating with God is as natural as a child’s desire to be near to and interact with their mother/father/care-giver from birth. It’s an absolute no-brainer. However, that natural desire, that instinct was and remains marred – not destroyed yet severely hindered – by disobedience.  Our inclination now is to hide… God’s inclination however has not changed at all: The God-of-the-Garden seeks us out, finds us and initiates contact even while we make absurd attempts to hide. It seems that prayer, the interactive life with God, has become a never-ending game of hide and seek.

One of the most important lessons on how to live an interactive life with God that Jesus spoke of on more than occasion is to become like a little child. The thing about kids, and we’ve all observed this (and most of us will likely have an embarrassing first person account of this): They have no filter. They say what is on their mind, their faces betray their feelings, forever wearing they’re heart on their sleeve and their opinions on their lips.

So a few things emerge for me in this passage as routes back into the interactive life with God:

1. Let yourself be found. God is actively seeking. The radiation of his loving and longing for us washes over us constantly. Including right now, right where you are, wherever that may be.

2. The goal in prayer is not be constantly in a state of intimate communication with God anymore than the goal of marriage is to be in a constant of ecstatic intimacy with our partner. Those special times are great, without a doubt! But we can’t build a life together on non-stop ecstatic union. Ditto for the interactive life with God. God will seek us out for special times like a walk “during the cool of the day.” Let those times be what they are but don’t make them the goal. Life is more comprehensive than that.

3. Be who you are in God’s presence. That is harder than it may sound or seem. Our broken nature tries to hide, to cover up. Just being ourself in God’s loving presence is the way back in. Let the filters go and the defenses down. We can – no, we must – share our anger, our lusts and our joys and passions with God. He knows it all anyway but we have trained ourselves as expert hiders and constantly look for new ways to avoid honesty. The Pslams can be our school in this new way. This book of collected, communal prayers give voice to the widest possible array of emotions and real life desires…. and all of them get poured out – and not necessarily figured out or neatly packaged either – in God’s presence. Therein is the essence of trust, of faith: we pour it out, God sorts it out… over a lifetime.

>>> Where have you witnessed the “filterlessness” of a child?

>>> What hiding techniques are you using right now to keep yourself from God’s presence? (Here’s my confession: blogging about prayer may just be my heightened technique for avoiding prayer. That’s my cue. Later friends, Someone is calling…)

I am still working out the problem statement for my dissertation and a book I intend to write. Julie Gross is forcing me to put it down in what Anne Lamont calls a “shitty first draft” format. Those are not typically shared. I, however, have nothing to lose by sharing my s-f-d and everything to gain by others feedback so here goes…

The problem: there has been no consistent means of spiritual transformation and leadership formation in the Brownhouse or other attempts at discipleship in a community house context in years past at Vineyard Central. Furthermore as people would come to live with us for training (we offered a free one year internship in local church based, urban ministry) they would often not clearly know what they were getting into which made room for a lot of wrong assumptions and false expectations. In short there was no orientation to what our life, ministry, and expectations were. Lastly when we tried to birth new communities it felt like we were constantly reinventing the wheel and starting from scratch rather than following a clear model or design that had already been proven. We lacked a template for replication.

After studying monastic movements and religious orders it became apparent that the ones that survived and thrived had a written document (Benedictine rule or Jesuit constitutions etc) that not only informed and oriented prospective members before they joined but guided each individual’s formation and development and also  provided a template for establishing future communities.

“The word of the Lord came to John…”

This passage opens with some very interesting and helpful information that frames the opening of the gospel in its historical context. It tells us that the events we’re preparing to read about happened in a real place, at a real time in history. Those things helpful and fun as they are to explore didn’t capture my attention this morning as much as that simple phrase, “The word of the Lord came to John…”

During this season of my life as I’m stepping back from nearly all leadership responsibilities in my local church (A sabbatical season) I’m learning quickly that the best in life is given not earned and even when I am tempted to think that things are going well because of my brilliance or effort I am wrong.

“The word of the Lord came to John…” He was looking for it necessarily. He wasn’t striving for it. He for sure wasn’t initiating it. It came as all good things do: as a gift.

“For God so loved the world that he gave….” (John 3.16) It is in God’s nature to give and it is our place to receive. We are not the initiators or the inventors of our identities or destinies. We are designed to be receptors of God’s life coming to us. Now that doesn’t mean we are passive or have no part to play. We do. But passivity is not my temptation most often. My temptation is to take on too much (things are not being given to me) or take credit for (or attempt control of) things that are purely gifts.

Ponder this: Advent and Christmas are about being receptive and open to God’s activity in our life. What is he doing in your life in this season? How can you receive it with joy and gratitude?

+++ Lord, even when I think things are happening all around me because of my own smarts or effort I know deep down that I am nothing more than a man that has been lavished with great gifts that I have not earned nor deserved. In more honest moments I know that all good things come from your hand and the best I can do is simply welcome them into my life and share whatever is given with the same abandon and generosity that you have shown me. Help me to do just that. Amen. +++

The classic monastic vows include celibacy, poverty, and obedience.

What might those vows (or the spirit of those vows) look like in a context like mine where I’m married, have a financially growing business, and answer to no one. Well…

Celibacy would need to be reframed as chastity or purity. And in an age of internet porn being delivered right to our pockets via our phones not to mention our homes via every computer screen, that is saying something. Then there’s the advertising that just one generation ago everyone would have agreed was pornographic (yeah, I’m talking about Abercrombie and Fitch among others) now are commonplace. Huge challenge. Perhaps going cold turkey (vow of celibacy) is a good option. But not for me. I’m happily married and felt called to that path many years ago.

Poverty could still be achieved but simplicity may be more desirable. Again this is a question of degrees and calling. One of my heroines is Kathleen Daughtery. Her writings have inspired me over and over as she brought many easters traditions of the Christian faith to bear on the west. (more on her in a future post!) She is woman who had massive financial reserves at her disposal and gave them up for a life of personal poverty and living among the poor. That has always haunted me (in a good way). St Elizabeth did the same as did St. Francis and many others. I haven’t ruled that out. However I haven’t sensed that call either. I do feel called to simplicity and a strict financial stewardship as my net worth has increased in recent years. I hope to give large sums away. First i have to make it. The trick is not falling in love with it before I give it away.  Like the Pslamist says, “When riches increase, do not set your heart on them.”

Obedience would probably look like community discernment or submission to a spiritual director where I bare all. Tracy and I have always said we have taken a vow of stability to Norwood and the people of Vineyard Central. The only thing that could trump that would be if the community discerned together that we were to go elsewhere. That’s one concrete way among others we need to explore that we have tethered ourselves to a community to not make decisions in isolation and be submitted to God’s leading via others.

I’ve been revisiting some vows that I wrote and took with several people in our community several years ago. I’m starting to think they may form the contour of a new rule of life/ curriculum for transformation. Here they are (slightly altered and with some more edits needed…)

Simplicity, the focused life: In a world that is frantic and overcommited we’re simple, purposeful lives.

Community, the shared life: In a world that of fractured relationships we’ll display unity through a shared life.

Prayer, the God-centered life: In a world chasing “self-fulfillment” we’ll center our lives on God through a prayerful life.

Study, the transformed life: In a world that is force-fed by self-centered advertising and media, we’ll regular reflect on God’s word and let that transform our minds.

Work, the creative life: In a world drunk on laziness and entitlement, we’ll be industrious and generous through meaningful work.

Service, the generous life: In a world that idolizes power, individualism, and ego we’ll demonstrates Christ’s way of serving through practical acts of love.

Hospitality, the welcoming life: In a world filled with hostility, we’ll be a warm, welcoming place for friends and strangers.

Justice, the active life: In a world full of injustice, we’ll work at local grassroots level for visible social change and be a voice for justice among the world’s oppressed.

Sabbath, the renewed life: In a world frazzled by overcommitment we’ll take time for rest and recreation.

Celebration, a joy-filled life: In a world plagued by apathy and anxiety we’ll regularly and joyfully celebrate all that is good, true and beautiful.

So a friend of mine participated in an internship hosted by a missional order. His experience with this group was superb. He was growing in his faith, enganging with his neighbors and neighborhood missionally, and experiencing a rich common life with allies that he deeply cared about. Shortly after the internship ended, he along with his wife moved to a new city. Upon arriving he immediately began looking for another couple or family that he could share life with in ways similar to what he just experienced in his internship. They met a young family that seemed to be on the same page…. after 2 painful years of trying it became evident that they were not on the same page and they would likely never be… by and large it felt like they were spinning their wheels for 2 years and just waiting for things to click. It never did.

I’ve heard this story repeated several times in various forms. This is what motivates me to write a rule of life….

First, what is a rule of life? The most famous rule by far, the Rule of St. Benedict, has been the basis of the vast majority of monastic communities for over 1500 years. It clearly describes how a person can join the community and what they can expect and what will be expected of them once they do. A rule could also be described as a ‘curriculum of Christlikeness’ – a specific way that people are formed into the image of Christ by via common practices; for Benedict 2 common practices were paramount: praying the Psalms daily at seven set times and individually practicing ‘lectio divina,’ a meditative reading of Scripture.

The purpose, benefits and uses of a rule of life for a community could be summarized as orientation, formation, and replication.

Orientation: A rule of life is a written document that describes what is expected of the members of a community. It can be read and pondered before someone decides to join so they clearly know what they are getting into. The fewer the surprises the better.In Benedict’s community’s the rule was read out loud to incoming members. As you can imagine there isn’t a lot of “but you never told me I had to…” in Benedictine communities.

Formation: The rule is a tool for transformation. It sets the parameters of what the common life will look like and spells out the practices that will guide the member toward transformation.

Replication: When it comes time to start a new community the rule sets the standard for what it will look like, feel like, be like. It is a template for what new communities will be like.

One key thing (that deserves a post of its own) is that rules take a lot of pressure off the ‘leader’ to make things up as they go along. The template is there. The path is clear. The leader can focus on caring for the actual people of the community because nearly all the fundamental questions of “how do we…” have already been answered.

How have you seen written documents (rules of life or manuals or even job descriptions and operations manuals) function in ways that were helpful to you?

Yes, I have started blogging in earnest again. No, I doubt that many people really care. I once had a pretty good “following” of my blog. People who were interested in house churches, or new monasticism or intentional community or bi-vocational ministry… some really interesting people used to read that blog and many of them started their own blogs and had a lot of great things to say and could say it very well.

But That season has passed. There are parts of that which still interest me of course. But also have new interests and a desire to integrate past learning with new directions and fresh applications. Blogging for me has always been about making sense of my life and finding the deeper purpose. It has truly been an online journal where I publicly wrestled with sincere questions (see my last post) and tried to gain understanding about the pieces of my life all in the wider context of following Christ. I am by nature an innovator, an experimenter. Having a place to write about my findings and my confusion was more than helpful, it was essential so I wouldn’t get ‘lost in the sauce’ as the chef’s say.

So, I’m writing again. Here’s what hasn’t changed.

I’m still following Christ and wanting to get better and better at obeying him and being like him but in my context and time. He’s not only a hero but a present teacher and guide for my life.

I’m still living ‘in community’ (going on 15 years now) i.e. I share a home not only with my immediate family but also with several friends that are allies in the pursuit of seeing God’s kingdom come and his will be done in west Norwood and in our various spheres of influence. We have a rhythm of morning prayer and evenings meals and weekly ‘church’ meeting. I’m hoping and planning on an even more shared weekly rhythm in the months and years ahead.

I’m still a part of Vineyard Central and in a house church connected to it.

I still own an auto body shop in central Cincinnati (Norwood) but I’m no longer really bi-vocational as that is all I’m doing professionally at the moment.

I’m still pursuing my doctorate at George Fox University and seminary and if I can just sit down enough times at this computer and get my dissertation written I will be finally and fully done.

And that brings me full circle to this blog. That is the direction I’m heading. I’m writing about topics that will eventually make their way into my dissertation. “What is my dissertation about?” is the #1 question I get asked when people find out I’m doing a doctorate. I intend to write a curriculum for Christlikeness as a basis for a new missional monastic order. It’s first application will likely be an internship that is run in the Brownhouse and possibly another house or 2 in west Norwood but it will be open for anyone who wants to follow our rhythm of life in their own context. The actual writing will end up as a web based prayer-book/ discipleship manual with the current working title of “The book of common life.” (that title was given to me; Thanks and credit to Mike Helm).

There’s a debate raging right now at least in my head. I have been reading in the general category of “personal development” for some time now and recently stumbled across what seem to me on first read some divergent data. I’m trying to reconcile them if possible or figure out which one is right if I can’t. Can someone help me out here?

Here’s the summary:

1. Position one: You are born with innate, unique abilities and strengths therefore spend time figuring out what they are and build on them. If you spend your time focusing on your weakenss, at the end of the day (or your life) all you’ll have is ’strong weaknesses.’ The proponents of this line of thinking are man including Tom Rath who wrote Strenght’s finder 2.0, and Marcus Buckingham in Now Discover Your Strengths, and Strategic Cocah, Dan Sullivan. I have been influenced by all these men.

2. Position two: You are capable of achieving greatness in any pursuit if you are willing to practice hard enough and smart enough long enough. Specifically you must practice for 10 years in very deliberate, specific ways but if you do a level of performance can be achieved in any pursuit. This position is put forward by Geoff Colvin in Talent is Overrated which is really an expansion of a seminal idea/article published several years ago called “The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance” by K. Anders Ericsson, Ralf Th. Krampe, and Clemens Tesch-Romer (avaialble online via Google search).

Perhaps they are talking about different things and I’m unintentionally setting up an unecessary conflict here. For me however as I move forward in developing myself and helping those around me develop it seems important to know where to put the effort: on overcoming weaknesses or strengthening strengths.

Thoughts?